Anger is a negative virtue I have in me. Nothing on earth scares me, except the person I'm when blindfolded by anger. Issues were born out of thin air at times in the past. Its true that I am the one responsible for most of the reasons why people who hate/dislike me, do so. Now the point is, I haven't found a complete remedy to this malady in me. So it makes me think and retrospect a lot during the aftermaths of many of such sudden outbursts. And the only question I have after that has not yet been answered by me. Why does it happen?
I was very hurt today, not that I lost contacts with the many I did, but because the ones who refrained maintaining contacts with me still believe I don't love them. No, I love them, and what I ask from them is to give me one more chance, to talk to them and confess my mistake. All I want to tell them is I'm sorry.
But alas I'm too late. Almost everyone who is close to me, has been hurt. Some still believe in me. Some do not. So I live in daydreams and dreams. Illusion spurred by alcohol and weeds and smokes. But they are momentary. Yet, I feel they are good. At least I can smile for once.
Recently an incident touched me. I write this basically to apologize to him and thank him. From day one we met, he treated me like a brother. And after the incident last week, he still treats me as his brother. I was moved indeed that he didn't abandon me from his life altogether, though I had to go through a long long speech in return. I never apologized to him properly.
So, to you my dear brother, I'm sorry. And to all you my dear lost friends, I'm sorry. I know that the damned face of mine doesn't deserve to be back before you saying all this, but I hope that the heavens convey my apology to you. I love you all.
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