Life has no victories...

Living alone, far away from your home isn't a comfortable experience at all. With the freedom comes in a lot of responsibilities. The lone fact being that you have no one there for you to aid all your needs. Lonely would be a wrong term to use. You do have friends, but a whole new bunch of people. You cannot be absolutely at ease with them right away, or even confide in them all of you. Living away from home was something that I was eager to when at home, but for every of those moments for the past one year, I wish I were at home. Life would have been so much easier!

August 8th , 2010, was my first night alone, in an all new place, with three complete strangers whom I had known just for 4 hours. As I closed my eyes, the first thing that I missed was my bed; it was much longer and broader and much more comfortable than this one. I can almost feel the wood below the cushion. To my right, there wasn't my computer. In my room, there wasn't my guitar, which apparently I still cannot live without. Nothing seemed familiar. No family, no friends. A whole bunch of living and dead strangers. And I shed a tear, a tear for graduating from a Disneyland to reality.

I didn't get along with the people initially, mainly because most of them were from villages and a few, from places even unheard by my parents! Luckily I had a somebody who was my school-mate too. But yes, to live well, I had to live with all. I couldn't come down to their level honestly. What's very normal to me, a resident of a metro, is a taboo for their society. Their language, their thought process, nothing matched mine. I would still join in their conversations, but they always made me feel out of the group. Gaining their trust would be difficult I knew, but that is something that I really had to do. It took me over six months to adjust. Now, at home, I feel bored, because there, I had somebody to talk to all the time. Here after my parent are gone for work, I'm left all alone. How quickly things changed in the past one year, I'm really surprised every time I turn back and look.

I have learned an important thing about life in the process. There are no victories... There are only battles, and the best that you can hope is that, at the end of it all, you have a place to stand, and there is someone willing to stand beside you. Well I'm still waiting for that someone. Till then, I'm ready for all the uphill battles I gotta fight. The whole experience matured me, my thoughts, my beliefs. It's really easy to give in to situations with happiness as the immediate outcome, but suffering in the long run. We generally do give in to all of these for want to happiness. But I guess to hold yourself back and go through the rough paths is a better pursuit of happiness. Believe me, there ain't any shortcut to happiness either...